Christmas in JANUARY
So, I have most recently acquired the coolest and most swankadelic stuff in the last 3 weeks…some of it you may have seen already…some you may not have. Anyway these things are sure to raise my stature among the monocle wearing, ear waxed mustache, “hum hum” members of society. So check out these newfound symbols of stature with which I am much pleased.
1. Medium National Champs skin suit.
- This item was first seen at the LA world cup but let me explain some of the more exciting features…as you can see on the back is the word Bell…this of course is meant as a commissarial message. In the points race this is to encourage the officials to give me the bell each time I come around…unfortunately it only seems to work about 10% of the time…I have my best font scientists working on improving this feature but at the moment we seem to be lacking the impact we are looking for.
-It may appear to be read but don’t be fooled this is a hyper colour skin suit…for some reason it turns pink when you have it on…it all has to do with fit… I am not fit, or it doesn’t fit, or “that bloke looks FIT”… something like that…
2. The 1998 CIVIC HB, Deep PURPLE edition
- Now this was not so much a gift as a necessary evil. But it has to be, don’t it look mean. >:(
- As you can clearly see this bad boy is a tribute to the magical guitar riffs of DEEP PURPLE…I did not just go out an buy a purple car people…come on now.
- It has 90 shetlands under the hood…and maybe a few garden knombs, a wishing well, and one half eaten package of double mint gum from the era when the still put the twins in there commercials. Now I to will be able to pretend I am fast and or furious…
- Oh and it is a standard…now I know you are all thinking…”come now zebidia, your pre-technology attitudes have rendered you incapable of operating such an evil and devilish contraption.” Well this is just not true…I have been rolling this baby backwards and stalling it in traffic like no bodies businASS…or maybe it is no one is getting to business…cause I am “staled in the right hand lane”. I think global has assigned there traffic copter to follow me 24/7
3. The Cream DE LA…the cats PJs…the pantaloon restraint I have been searching for low these long years…
- This purchase and in fact the one above was made possible by the educational styling of one Groovy chick who shall remain nameless (secret identity and all that)…needless to say she has educated me on the manual transmission and the automatic purchasing power of E BAY.
- Yanick Morin this ones for you…my very own YUKON JACK belt buckle…who needs dog tags or bling bling when you can by a belt buckle like this from a guy who wore it 3 YEARS BEFORE I WAS BORN in Tennessee. Look at it and all its majesty…creepy borderline sourdough hermit on meditating quality among his woodland friends. It is the Yukon captured in a boo CLAY. No less then an explosion of waistband history, sure to draw the eyes of the world to the top of my pants as I roam through the crowded markets of the VAN city.
High society here I come…I am going to put on my skin suit…put on a belt and roll down to Glen Eagles Golf and Country club in my Purple Haze, Jimmy Hendrix edition C VAC. Maybe play a few rounds with Tony Parsons, he could get a lift in the G-1 traffic copter right?
Reid on March 14th, 2007
Whee! The belt buckle is the cat’s azz!