We need Some “POOP OFF”

Well After the first day of racing at sydney we team Canada has come out a little worse off then a porche under a telephone wire. Travis, Gina and I all…all seasoned competitors came out looking like JIT’s…What the heck happened. We have all raced at this level before…what is the problem? Well the general concensis seems to be lack of current experneience. We have experience yes but the first world cup is always a wake up call… “johnson pull your head out of your ass”. I basically rode a respectable pursuit…good time (4:35 somthing) and 2o min later jumped on the track for the scratch qualification…granted I was probably the only guy doing that and if I had been in the race and not had the legs maybe I would complain but that is not what happened…I had the legs legs where comfortable infact. I just made a tactical errors…was not cut trought didn’t grab the balls of it or whatever…in the end I didn’t qualify in a race I should have been able to no problem. I just made a bad move…granted it was a very bad move…probably the worst move of my international career actually…and in the end it made for no spot in the scratch final. Now don’t worry I am going to brush off pic up and hit it hard for the points tomrrow…that is the one I am REALLY here for anyway…the scratch was almost an option…and I am happy with my pursuit time…even if it didn’t put me where I expected it too.

But the long and the short of it is…we need to race more…not sally johnson sissy races but really hard ass stuff…at least once before we roll into a world cup. Every year we all come out with good motors and make tactical mistakes against guys that have 1 or 2 mor races allready under their belts this season…no point in puttinhg all your eggs in one basket if there is a hole in the bottum that you can see. I am lucky cause the stupidity I seemed to suffer from came in the least important race for me this year…if there was one race this year I could suck in it was the scratch here. Anyway I am going to use the poo remover to clean teh crap out of my sheets and use more than cromagnon portions of my brain tomrrow…that with my half decent engine right now should produce something a little better. Wish me luck…

Congrats are in order…

Well I am over her in the land of Aus and the world seems to be spinning all around me…and as a track cyclist it should be the other way around…I just heard that my man Ryan Mckenzie just got hitched to his hip and GROOOOVY broad Laura…Well dang yo…god on you and a big shout out of congratulations. I would say I hope you are very happy together…but I know you are so no need for hope.

As for the rest of you out there in blog world. Well I am busy planning some interesting things…I may have a guest blogger join the Z-Rail feed on a some what permamnet basis…to bring a little edge to line. I will also have some interesting pics and fottage once I return from the world cup. It is the first time I haven’t had to Race Pack Fly on sunday…so I will have some free time to wonder the beach or check out the nitty gritty of one of the worlds most famed citys…

Athletic Narcissism…

Athletic Narcissism is something that every high caliber athlete will struggle with at some point. It is almost inevitable, you train and train and focus so much on your goals and how you can over come and be the best. You have to be confident in yourself and abilities, which in and of itself isn’t narcissistic. It crosses the line when all you talk about is yourself and what you do and you become convinced that you and your accomplishments are the most important thing in your own life. I have had some wake up calls in this area as of late. Not that I think I am a narcissist, but I feel these recent experiences have helped me move away from that.

Just yesterday I attended a wedding. The wedding was for someone who I conceder a very close friend. I haven’t spent much time with him since I began cycling but I still count him as one of my best friends. Throughout the wedding ceremony I began to realize something. As I saw him celebrate in his new wife, new life family and friends, another friend of ours who I had attended the wedding with mentioned that we could probably go because we where “at the bottom of this weddings food chain.” It got me to thinking. Who in this big world of ours would put me at the top of that food chain. Who in the world would count me as one of their very best friends? As I thought, I drew no names. I also started to think of who I would have as my best man. I came up with at Least 5 names…names of people who where significant enough in my life that they could easily deserve to be my BEST. Yet I doubt I had played a significant enough role in their lives to be considered there best. It seems that sport and total dedication to it has turned me into wedding plankton. This does not offend me. It is what I deserve, I am barely around enough to be important in my own romantic relationship, how can I expect that any of my friends would see me as playing a significant enough role to hold me any closer. But I will tell you one thing. I thing the narcissist died yesterday. Why should I be the most important figure in my own life when I am not that important to anyone else in the world. They world of a wayfarer athlete is a lonely one. It was a humbling experience and made me realize just how much I have sacrificed in only 4 years for this sport. I have gained a lot too, but when I do re enter real life, I will have a lot of meaningful work to do for all those people that mean so much to me.

I am almost done the Cycling Genus Quiz…just have a few more genus deffinitions to write up then you too can figure out your destiny with a simple nonsensical quiz.

LOST FOOTAGE VOL. II

The System is DOWN…

WHAT the shnitzel.

Some one has put a crash curse on me. I was rocking the wheels with mad skills ALL year and hadn’t crashed all year. (unless you count my “virtual” crash at toona which stimied my virtual GC) And now in my last Road race I biffaroony. Then in the last 10 laps of my last track race I eat it again. Concussing my brain meat. To top it all off, I come home to find my website has crashed so I can’t even gripe to my publix about my poor unfortunate luck. It is like a crash fest up in here. So here it all is, a back up of Blogany waiting to seep out onto the masses like the chemicals they are using to fumigate my girlfriends appartment as we speak…

Huh I hope that stuff doesn’t kill all forms of parisite. I mean lets be honest as a cyclist I am a bit a moocher, which doesn’t mean I am a spiecies of Parisite but it has to put ms in the same darwinian family…*gulp*
Here is a “virtual blog” for you…if my website didn’t crash it would have been up on monday…so just pretended…

Shades of grey…and black…and blue…and some off yellow???

Well I guess that is it…that is the year. I was just in Dieppe New Brunswick this past weekend for the Canadian Track Nationals. It was my most successful national championship ever. However I did unfortunately loose the 4km title to one Svien Tuft (props to him). Only by .5 of a second…it was close one…but tough to loose when that is my money maker. Faster next time I guess. I did however win the Points race…yeppiii…which to me is like the Paris Roubiax of track events. The hard man’s race. You have to be smart and on the rivet ever 3 min…and it has been 4 years coming. Since my first nationals I have wanted that event more than any of the others…and it was good to do it finally.

The rest of the weekend was interesting…eating lobster, crashing (no I don’t crash a lot anymore I have just had a bad run the last 2 weeks), and the always interesting…hanging out with the Regimbalds (you ABA members know what I’m talking about)

The conclusion I came to over the past weekend…I LOVE bike racing. It is just kick ass.
Check out this pic…how can anyone argue the P H fatness of that sport.

Image by: Don Ricker
Well I am into Video season now. And putting together a LOST Footage Vol. 2. Keep your RSS Feed troughs empty cause you will not want this one to be returned mail.

Good Luck to the Roadies going to worlds….
Keep the rubber side down (or at least at a 45 if you only turn left)

Z-bomb

I”M FREAKIN OUT!!!

Did I just get a round house kick to the face by a guy in pictured pants? (they still make and sell these and other varieties apparently…www.damagewear.com/ clothing/workout-pants.html) I think so…I am sitting here watching the news and in the last 20 minutes 2 stories have occupied my attempt to become better informed.

1st much music VJ RICK “who the heck cares” spoke for 15 minutes about how Shalaila (or whatever), some rockstar supernova girl who talks through her nose, had some meltdown and broke a glass and a shard cut some guys head. BOOO FREAKIN HOOO. I mean I will admit I have watched an episode of that show…but they were singing, you know being talented and some what exceptional. I am sure Brittney Spears dropped a dish in the last week and it broke…someone may have even cried…but it should not be on the PRIME TIME NEWS. There are people dying in wars, starving to death and stealing from each other in public…we need to re evealuate our priorities if this is what people feel they need to know.

Speaking of talent…the next story pretty much pushed me over the edge. The topic in question…when will video gaming be in the OLYMPICS. All together now…

!!!ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!

Props to all you gamers out there, you have mad skills…oh wait should I use web lingo…U got >:( sklz. U B gr8 wit dat [!].
(that last one is joy stick by the way, I think I may have mixed some eubonics in ther too)
But come on…the olympics is the ultimate athletic competition. I think it would be great to have a gaming olympics, and not just video games…get all those board game nuts from the 70’s and 80’s, as well as every winner of the poker games happening on every channel of espn to join in. That way they will all stop trying to con there way into the most celebrated event of athleticism in the history of the human race. If you can smoke and/or drink and/or save your progress for a month and come back and be at the same “level” as when you left then it is not a sport. Not to say that there aren’t thousands of people in the world doing it, and yes, some one is infact the best at it. But the olympics is not called “The Giant Contest of Who is Best at Any Damn Thing in the World…Games”.

The Olympics is a Celebration of athletics and sport…and the news is about relevent things that people need to know in order to get there asses off the couch and say, “What the hell thats not right, we need to do something about that.” and not to hear about some stupid “emotional break down” that some ya ya rock star had because she was drinking to much and finally realized she talks like a man. If you don’t hear about that crap, your life, and her life will go on, and both probably for the better.

There…I think…I may….just….be done freakin out………………*sigh*
Check out the cool pics my main squeeze brought back from greece (in the pic section)…they have a lava lamp like calming effect…imagine the woshing of the ocean while you look at them and you will……be……lulled off ……to ZZZZZZZZZ

Big Bucks and Barbicide….

I know, I know, every body is thinking “gee wiz this guy has been really lame-o with the blogs lately.” Well ok maybe you are not thinking in a 1985 schoolgirl phonetic but I am sure your hip and trendy, train of thought has produced some P H fat version of the above quote. Well here is blog to tide you over. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind extravaganza of fast racing and middle America experience. It all started about 2 weeks ago…

*cheesy fade to black and white flash back scene*

Bank of America was the biggest money race so far. My form was less than stellar. After get 2nd on one of the first big primes (no money for first loser…ha) I promptly became the ticket taker until about 9 laps to go. OUCH…I was obviously not any where near the form I had back in 82…

The rest of that week was spent with a Mr. Ryan “D” Wald. He treated me to many good and not so good experiences…Good = Riding in the Philly area…Not so Good = Scrapple (who thought making cream of MEAT was a good idea)

From there me and the “D” headed out to Chicago for some more big money…the dwindling pennies in our pockets encouraged our drive heavy legs to perform at a reasonable level. The Elk Grove Race say crazy roller derby style carnage in the first half lap. We came out with a cool $1000 prime…OOOO Rummy. We figured for once we at lest made out fair share. We where 1% of the field and we got 1% of the purse. What can I say us Canadians are all about sharing. We are like a country full of big purple dinosaurs.

Now I have spent the last week with a host family that have fed me well and showed me the sights of Chicago…Dominick, Anna (absent from photo), Vince, and Dominick Jr. have taken great care of me. Making sure I have the “Chicago experience”…awesome.

Lastly I went to get my top cropped…I used the following parameters when selecting my Stylist.
1. Walking distance on MapQuest
2. Price…as in lowest
3. How far away I could smell the nail polish remover and perm chemicals from
4. How many flocks of seagulls I could see when sitting in the chair.

In Retrospect I believe I need to update my selection criteria. Long story short I sat there looking at the blue container of combs that said BARBICIDE on it…Paralyzed…thinking how appropriate it was that that is in fact what I was doing. Committing barbicide…I am pretty sure I narrowly missed actually coming out of that place “back in 82”.

Cracked…

I don’t like writing lame blogs about races I am not in…but on this years tour I have to take the bait. Are you kidding me. This tour has seen more cracks than a humpty dumpty convention held on halloween. I mean it has been great that I have not been able to call one winner the whole tour. I have even tried holding my predictions till the last 10 km and I have still been wrong. I feel like I am watching racing again. These guys are going through ups and downs like real athletes.

I have been resting the last two weeks…Just got back on the bike on monday and let me tell you I feel unfit…but in a good way. And watching a tour where so many riders are cracking with day after day of hard racing has made my rest much easier to stomach. I am looking at 10 days in a row of racing coming up. No tour but hopefully the rest will help me keep my shell it tacked.

Who With the What Now…

“And that’s the ball game”…I’m sure someone heard that in the baseball crazy city of Boston some time in the past 36 hours I was there. Why was I there? For once it was relatively unrelated to cycling…somewhat. Here is the Story…

About a week ago I headed down to Rochester for the Twilight Crit. Great race…one of my all time favs now. It’s fast and fun with a little bit of everything. The team rode well with Dwald in a break and then the guys fought the good fight to at least get me to where I could cramp my way across the line to 8th.

From there I headed to the country for a bit of an escape. I spent the week with Brad and Jdub’s (Jon Wirsing) parents, wife and kids. It was great; it took me back to my roots in the wilderness a little…paddling and the like…but on with the story.

From there we headed over to Fitchburg, however we left with a new team mate. The new man will bring a new perspective to the blog. I am thinking of giving the dude a corner on the old blogarro. Introducing the one and only (ok maybe not only, but the resemblance is scary)* Dan Schmatz. Ok so he is not the real D Schmatz of Sierra Nevada Fam, but the resemblance is scary.

Fella got into a lot of trouble during Fitchburg…including macin’ on my main lady Jen. Feeling generally insecure as a result of Dan’s rippling pecks I felt I needed to treat her to a cliché holiday. After the Racing it was off to Boston for 36 hours of bean town fun. While there we saw all the sites. We walked the freedom trail, went to Cheers (no one knew my name) and had some of the Boston sea food everyone was talking about. Check the Pics…

On The DL

Well, things could be going a bit better. In the last week I have found myself on the disabled list. In other words, I have been having some knee issues, but the good news is I have been smart enough and have had enough help from doctors and physios around me that I have at least remained day to day. The bummer part is the races that I am missing because of it. Captech was like our teams home base race; CSC is, well its CSC - one of the most intense crits in the US. And today I will be missing Lancaster. It is unfortunate because I have been riding quite well but I guess that is life as a cyclist. I believe I have made the right decisions though. My knee is near better after only one week and starting anyone of these tough races could have put me further back. It is still hard to sit out what is one of the major peak times of the season. But it is for the greater good.

On another note, The Super hero Contest is over and SPIDERMAN has made a late surge from behind to nip the paper boy Robbie MC style at the line. Congratulations to the winner your prize pack will be mailed out mid month when I arrive back in Canada. And thanks to all who took part. I will try to cook up more interesting things later on. Better prizes too.

Anyway I leave for Pan Ams tomorrow so todays recovery of the knee will be crucial. Wish me luck.