We need Some “POOP OFF”

Well After the first day of racing at sydney we team Canada has come out a little worse off then a porche under a telephone wire. Travis, Gina and I all…all seasoned competitors came out looking like JIT’s…What the heck happened. We have all raced at this level before…what is the problem? Well the general concensis seems to be lack of current experneience. We have experience yes but the first world cup is always a wake up call… “johnson pull your head out of your ass”. I basically rode a respectable pursuit…good time (4:35 somthing) and 2o min later jumped on the track for the scratch qualification…granted I was probably the only guy doing that and if I had been in the race and not had the legs maybe I would complain but that is not what happened…I had the legs legs where comfortable infact. I just made a tactical errors…was not cut trought didn’t grab the balls of it or whatever…in the end I didn’t qualify in a race I should have been able to no problem. I just made a bad move…granted it was a very bad move…probably the worst move of my international career actually…and in the end it made for no spot in the scratch final. Now don’t worry I am going to brush off pic up and hit it hard for the points tomrrow…that is the one I am REALLY here for anyway…the scratch was almost an option…and I am happy with my pursuit time…even if it didn’t put me where I expected it too.

But the long and the short of it is…we need to race more…not sally johnson sissy races but really hard ass stuff…at least once before we roll into a world cup. Every year we all come out with good motors and make tactical mistakes against guys that have 1 or 2 mor races allready under their belts this season…no point in puttinhg all your eggs in one basket if there is a hole in the bottum that you can see. I am lucky cause the stupidity I seemed to suffer from came in the least important race for me this year…if there was one race this year I could suck in it was the scratch here. Anyway I am going to use the poo remover to clean teh crap out of my sheets and use more than cromagnon portions of my brain tomrrow…that with my half decent engine right now should produce something a little better. Wish me luck…

Congrats are in order…

Well I am over her in the land of Aus and the world seems to be spinning all around me…and as a track cyclist it should be the other way around…I just heard that my man Ryan Mckenzie just got hitched to his hip and GROOOOVY broad Laura…Well dang yo…god on you and a big shout out of congratulations. I would say I hope you are very happy together…but I know you are so no need for hope.

As for the rest of you out there in blog world. Well I am busy planning some interesting things…I may have a guest blogger join the Z-Rail feed on a some what permamnet basis…to bring a little edge to line. I will also have some interesting pics and fottage once I return from the world cup. It is the first time I haven’t had to Race Pack Fly on sunday…so I will have some free time to wonder the beach or check out the nitty gritty of one of the worlds most famed citys…

Book Review and…

So it is that time of the year where your body just shuts you down no matter what. I was coming off track nationals with good form and was wondering how this would effect my training. But Then my body checked the calender and decided it would be sick. So in my spare time I did a little reading. I kept seeing the Da Vinci Code poping up all over. All the hype it got a few years ago made me wonder what was going on. So I picked it up. Well, it was interesting and easy to read. But all the hype? Um…right…so there was all this talk of conspiacies and plots to undermine the church. Apparently all those scholars forgot to read the cover. See right above old Mona’s left eye. A secret hidden message in plane sight. “A Novel”. For those of you not familiar with this code, it is an achient masons word for FICTION, as in made up, as in for entertainment value only. Granted all the “things” he talks about in this book are factual…but if scientific reasurch can be orginized to prove almost any theory, so art can be interpreted to do anything. So if you are going to read this book…read it for fun on a weekend when you have nothing else to do but drink tea.

Anyway it is back to training and the like this week….I did the “Run for the Cure” yesterday. Not only do my legs hurt beyond all understanding. I also determined that men only look good in pink if they are, in fact, riding for T-Mobile. Sorry Optiks team you guys just can’t cut it. Anyway look for a quiz coming down the Z-rails later this week. I was trying to make it total work free for you but, unfortunatly my html skills are not worthy of any geek squads. So it will be cosmo…errr um…I mean MENS HEALTH style. as in write down your ansewrs and look up the appropriate result. You’ll see.

LOST FOOTAGE VOL. II

On The DL

Well, things could be going a bit better. In the last week I have found myself on the disabled list. In other words, I have been having some knee issues, but the good news is I have been smart enough and have had enough help from doctors and physios around me that I have at least remained day to day. The bummer part is the races that I am missing because of it. Captech was like our teams home base race; CSC is, well its CSC - one of the most intense crits in the US. And today I will be missing Lancaster. It is unfortunate because I have been riding quite well but I guess that is life as a cyclist. I believe I have made the right decisions though. My knee is near better after only one week and starting anyone of these tough races could have put me further back. It is still hard to sit out what is one of the major peak times of the season. But it is for the greater good.

On another note, The Super hero Contest is over and SPIDERMAN has made a late surge from behind to nip the paper boy Robbie MC style at the line. Congratulations to the winner your prize pack will be mailed out mid month when I arrive back in Canada. And thanks to all who took part. I will try to cook up more interesting things later on. Better prizes too.

Anyway I leave for Pan Ams tomorrow so todays recovery of the knee will be crucial. Wish me luck.

Contest Closed

Track Worlds completes what I consider to be a successful track campaign. It also starts a whole chapter in the cycling year of 2006. Now I am back in Virginia, back at the monastery…it seemed to work last time right. Over the next couple days I will be riding when weather permits (there is major thunderstorms in the forecast right now…and racing my first road race this year at the tour of Shenandoah. I am looking forward to it.
The Contest is officially closed…Christoph and I will be locking ourselves deep in the monastery cloister for some meditation and deliberation on your submissions and when smoke rises from the monastery BBQ the final 5 will have been selected for the final stage.
Also I will be working on a video from world championships that will include but is not limited to footage of mini super bike riding so stay tuned.

Judges, Journeys, Jokers and Jet Lag

The contest is looking good, keep the entries coming. In my opinion we have some strong competitors. However I believe some of the favorites are yet to be claimed. The entries will officially close on the 18th of April (that’s when I am back from worlds).

Right now Favorites: (In my opinion) include the Flash, and firestorm…but contestants like James bond and the $6,000,000 man are bound to have secrets up their sleeves.

One last contest note: I am proud to announce the guest Judge for the contest. Many of you have seen him on the site before, none other than the bishop of bike, the guru of gears, direct from the Charlottesville Monastery, always a humanitarian and fraudulent veterinarian; MR…….CHRISTOPH HERBY whaaaaaaa yeah the tens of people go wild.

That’s right ladies, the superstar himself, from 2skinnypros.com. His resume includes but is not limited to:
- Most jacked cyclist on 2skinnypros.com (excluding the CAT 3 corner)
- Voted most aerodynamic at the Rite Aid Camp
- Film Star Ultraordinar (that’s right beyond Extrordinar and absolutely NOT Ordinar)

Finally, on the docket today we have a new video available for your viewing pleasure. This is a good one, an energetic film about the Commonwealth Games experience…I had so much material that it was hard to edit…so enjoy…and remember…its not over till its over.

So keep your contest entries coming…with the entries thus far I will guarantee a prize
with some commonwealth games schwag in it for the winner so now it is really worth your time to get in on the action.

The Ultimate Showdown of CYCLING destiny…CONTEST (Reader Interactive)

So a friend of mine recently sent me this funny little song called the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny. It got me thinking, what if these superheroes/villains, settled there differences on the bike like responsible masters riders…who would win?

Well now is their chance…Allow me to introduce the opening of the Zerailleur Ultimate Showdown of CYCLING Destiny Contest. I am asking all of you readers out there (how ever many 5’s that might be) to submit your contestant (by adding a comment to this article). Please provide the ONE most significant reason you think this superhero/villain rider could win the Tour de France (Super Hero Edition). In approximately 2 – 4 Weeks (or when I get to it)…I will select a top 5 from the nominations (providing there are more than 5) and post a web poll to the readers to choose a winner. If your Super hero wins…hooray…you are the best super hero cycling coach ever…BUT you also may or may not be eligible for a prize valued in the ones of dollars (It depends on how much interest there is, I will try to put something cool together for your efforts).

Here are the Ground Rules and fine Print:

Race Details: Tour de France style race, with all available individual jerseys and time bonuses. The rider you select is racing for the Yellow. His/her strengths and weaknesses will be pitted against those of the other finalists. NOT AGAINST ORDINARY CYCLISTS, so choose carefully. (i.e. Superman would loose to a kryptonite toting weekend warrior)

Eligibility: Entrant may be any fictitious character you deem capable of riding a stock, commercially available frame size; some riders may be scaled somewhat to fit (i.e. the hulk could ride a 62cm frame). Entrants may come from be but are not limited to comic books, film, radio, literature, or any other realm of pop culture appropriate to a PG audience that you feel you can make a convincing and hopefully entertaining argument for.

Limitations:
- Your rider must not be of Theological origin (don’t want to argue religion with anyone)
- Your rider must be a pre-established character…I don’t want to find a super hero entered called “super amazing bike guy” made up by me. If I can’t find it by entering the name in google it won’t make the cut.
- Your rider must have innate NATURALLY GIFTED ability. Any potions, injections, or performance enhancing race apparel (rocket packs, strength potions etc.) will be viewed as being in violation of WADA regulations and will result in an immediate ban from the contest.
- Your rider must be submitted SOLO, i.e. Mr. Stretch would NOT compete as a member of the Fantastic 4. (maybe we will do a team contest if this goes well)
- Riders will have to ride within the rules of the UCI, no maiming, killing, melting of others person or equipment. All superhuman powers must be used to advance ones own cycling.

If your rider is selected for the final 5 you will be given an opportunity to write a brief blog describing the point in the race where he/she took it all. This will be your chance to sway other readers to vote in your characters favor. This will be edited to an appropriate blog length before I post it so no novels. This would be totally optional if your hero is selected.

Hero’s are on a first submission first dibs basis so if you’re hero or variant of your hero is taken you are out of luck. (i.e. If you want superman and Clark Kent has been claimed, better ask wonder woman what she is up to).

If you add a hero in the form of a comment I will have your email I think so I will let you know if you make the final 5. One hero per person.

Good Luck

Here is a Test Poll to see if I can actually do the real poll at the end…please try it out…I am not sure if it will work?

Airport Reflecting Pools

So I am sitting here in the LAX airport…paying for the day long internet connection…because, unfortunately, I am here long enough that it is actually a good deal…I will have been here almost 12 hours by the time my plane leaves the ground…I guess it is giving me the time to reflect on the experience of my first major games….the best way to analyze it…lets *WICKY WICKY* break it down

The Goods:
- Food, in many verities, every 100m or so, 24hours a day as far as I could tell
- 300 dollar HBC blanket
- CDN Record, 5th in the Scratch, a smoking TT along the beach and tan lines to boot.
- FOOS BALL, In the house for free (after some aggressive negotiation with the table)
- A sweet track and the best group of Canadian cycling dudes to chill with (Mtn bikers are all right guys.)
- Travis Smith – two medals – the first two by a pizza man who get you your pizza when it absolutely, positively has to be there over night some time…
- Air Miles – I am one step closer to being super ultra mondo cool air Canada dude guy who can sit in the lounge and listen to jazz music while I wait…
- I have finally found the axel that makes me ride fast…AXEL ROSE
- Melbourne and Melbournians (highly recommended as a vacation or final shipwreck destination)
- TROY, not the movie, the bad ass dude who could fix all our bikes…and all the tri-athletes bikes (oops we forgot our mechanic in Canada…you work for free right) and all the wheel chair athletes…he must have been hired by the CCTAWA cause he never complained once…

The Bad’s
- Holy butt crack X Ray shorts batman
- The Martin’s grasp of English present tense “don’t broke my rollers”
- Cam’s grasp of French profanity (and French in general)
- 7 days of travel time total…I mean I know it is a long way but wouldn’t it be faster to just wait for the earth to spin underneath you???
- Bike BAGs…as in plural, as in to damn much crap to fit in the average elevator…
- Eating with sprinters when you are a endurance dude…”come on one more steak won’t make you go down hill any slower…what you can go up hill on a bike???”
- my bikes had better have been up in the first class cabin since the cost more to put on the plane than ME.
- having to leave the day after your event…and missing the opening ceremonies at your first games…

Well there you have it…I would say that weighs in at just a pound over good times where had by all with only a hint of jet lag…with the long travel times I think I was able to progressively adjust to the time change, its really the only way to travel…next time I will take boat…a row boat I think…that way I will never know the difference.

See you on the right…

Pursuit and PEZ

A few brief updates from the land down under…
I raced the pursuit yesterday to an excellent time for me…4:37.68 something…A PB by about 5 seconds…and about 1.5 seconds off the Canadian record…that is good heading into Melbourne. Sorry no video yet…the only internet I have her I dial up so any visually interesting media will have to wait until I can find a connection that will support it.

Finally, I got reviewed on PEZ Cycling news…pretty cool I think…even with the spelling errors I make the review was positive. Thanks PEZ…
Here is the link…it is way down at the very bottum.

http://www.pezcyclingnews.com/default.asp?pg=fullstory&id=3828

I would also like to thank all the people who are sending me emails of support before the Commonwealth Games…