Genus Quiz
What is the first thing that comes to mind when you see 18%?
A. The amount of royalties you get for the shot of your package in cycling weekly.
B. The number of people in the pack who think you will can win.
C. The heavans opened and the peak of mount olympus beckoned me forward to an ascention of supernatural proprtions.
D. The alcohol content in a good pre race breakfast.
E. your visual body fat percentage.
F. damn, thats too dry now I have to change me wet weather tires.
G. the amount of time you actually spend on your bike.
H. your Salary as compared to the boss.
Your beverage of Choice is?
A. HEED…with Salt in it…and a banna blended in.
B. champagin
C. beverage? that will make my bike over 15lbs…
D. a little Jack D.
E. milk Shake…ok you can add some protien powder if you have too…
F. straight Vodka, cause it keeps you warm and goes down easy…
G. coffee, the meal of champions at breakfast lunch and dinner
H. what, oh I don’t care I’ll get you what ever you want boss.
Where is your skinsuit the most taut?
A. back in ‘82 we didn’t wear skinsuits…
B. i don’t have a skinsuit…Infact I only have one pair of shorts…
C. thouse things are supposed to be tight???
D. well the MOST transparent part is probably right over my ass crack.
E. on the podium when I am hugging the podium girls *wink wink, nudge nudge*…oh you mean wear on my body…
F. any where not wet, I get them tight so when I race in the wet the strerch out to a perfect fit.
G. in the court room…
H. the spare tire area…
The more the marrier applies most to…
A. the laughing group (they are always the merrier)
B. Caramel Sundaes.
C. me…as in the more of me the merrier you’ll be.
D. road surfaces.
E. points on a profile.
F. testicals.
G. hair.
H. bottles.
The best thing about my saddle is…
A. how it can be hosed off.
B. it keeps my bits and pieces working.
C. i can superman on it really good.
D. it’s made by subaru.
E. it is 2.5 grams
F. it is really vintage and makes my bike look scary in an eddy kind of way.
G. the fact that I can just grab a new one.
H. there is nothing good about my saddle.
My favorite off season activity is…
A. pushing my body through the head of a tennis raquet.
B. the restoration of my sperm count.
C. i look as fit as all my friends.
D. i can win the weekly ride.
E. i can sleep
F. the weather.
G. i can get close with my lawyers.
H. an extra layer of clothing covers the window that has developed in my back panel.
Cycling makes my _______ hurt all the time
A. ego
B. competitors
C. bones
D. t’aint, choda, tweener
E. veins
F. nothing (i don’t hurt)
G. head
H. competitors egos.
If a cyclist falls in the forest….
A. he is a bad cyclist
B. he is off course, there should be no trees around this high.
C. he probably couldn’t get around me.
D. its no problem as long as he lands on a bush *wink wink nudge nudge*
E. he is fired.
F. he is probably stoping for a pee.
G. he looks cool, like a bushman.
H. he would be easy to test cause he is bleeding allready.
“Wounds” heel and chicks dig….
A. Last place.
B. Cars
C. A man who can where a suit.
D. they do? aw that means they are probably coverd in mud..sweet.
E. Guys who weigh less than them.
F. the underdog.
G. me.
H. normal looking guys.
I am doing this servy because…
A. I hope I am a Chipolinous_Glamorous
B. I am not doing this survey, I am on top of a mountain.
C. I got nothing better to do.
D. I could rip you all a new one back in 82.
E. I am a Chipolinous Glamorous
F. cause it is sunny out side.
G. i am fast but this confirms my secret identity.
H. cause it is mixed in with my other paperwork.